I know, it's been a long time since I've posted. I guess I just haven't felt like it. I haven't felt like I've had anything beneficial, enlightening, interesting, or mildly humorous to say. In short, I've felt pretty whiny. And who wants to hear that :)
Mike was able to come home for a visit last weekend, and that went a long way in making me feel a bit more centered. Like I could continue to climb the mountain in front of me. We really couldn't afford it, but like he said, sometimes you just can't afford not to. He knows when I am crying it is NOT GOOD. I rarely cry. He cries at sad movies and tough goodbyes, not me. I just don't cry easily. Sooo, when I do, I really do. And in response to my meltdown, he decided he ought to come home for the weekend. It was a good decision.
And there was just 10 days between him leaving and his next stay here. At this point, I can do 10 days standing on my head! And when he comes back, he will be here for about 3 weeks. I hope, hope, hope to have the house done when he leaves. Oh, and we really hope to greet our newest little un-named bundle of joy in that time-frame too!
And on that note, we have been really praying that this little one would come soon after he arrives, rather than just before he leaves. And in discussing that hope with our midwife yesterday, she suggested that we set up a time to try and get the ball rolling. Sooo, we are looking at possibly trying to do some things to bring on labor on the 18th or so. That is a week from Saturday. A WEEK FROM SATURDAY!! That's soon.
But I did buy some t-shirts and diapers, so I guess we're ready :)
I am really looking forward to meeting our baby, and the day when EVERYTHING I eat or drink won't give me heartburn, taking deep breaths, not wanting a drywall fix like a junkie needs a needle, and some relief from back/hip pain. But actually pushing the baby out??? Not so much. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the labor. And labor is such a mental thing. I don't want to go into it ambivalent or nervous. I want to welcome it, to embrace it, to be unafraid of it. I'm not there yet.