Tick Tock

So the baby ticker tells me that we will be meeting our sweet babe in something like 4 weeks. As always, that is a bit amazing to me. Physically, ugh, being not pregnant sounds very appealing. It's been a good pregnancy; no bed rest early on, no significant pain until pretty late in the pregnancy this time, pretty good energy (thank you Hemaplex!). The fall a few weeks back is when my hips and pubic symphysis pretty much decided to throw in the towel, but I made it a lot farther than last time. And for that I am exceedingly grateful. So, knowing that the birth of our baby will bring these physical discomforts to a close is encouraging. However...

One would think that after so many deliveries labor would hold no fear. I KNOW that my body can birth babies. I've had no significant problems. And I know that the only way through it is, well... through it. But I haven't been quite able to get my head in the right place. I have been spending a lot of time in prayer, but I just don't have peace yet. The thought of labor still makes me want to cry. Or throw up. As I think back over my last few pregnancies I know that this is standard drama for me as I near the end. I know that some measure of peace will come and that I will be okay. But now, tonight, the valley is dark.

Last night I dreamed that it was time to push. That is the moment I hate the most. I have never experienced the relief that I have heard others talk about when they "finally get to do something." I HAVE been doing something. I've been getting on the other side of every contraction leading to this moment, and now I am lost. It is too overwhelming, too primal, too...much. So that was my dream. That is was time to push, I awoke to that sensation. Scared.

I prayed until I fell back asleep. Because I know HE is there. He is with me, it is His strength that will take me across the valley when I come to the end of my own. I don't feel it now, but I know it. And I know I will feel it when I need it. And from the knowing will come the peace.

I Used to Read

I used to read, a lot. But now, looking back over my 2010 book list, I find that I just don't read much anymore. I suppose it's not surprising, what with 7 kids at home. But it is disturbing. I find that when I pick up a "difficult" book, one that makes you think, it isn't as easy for me to read as it once was. I don't like that. At. All. In 2011 I intend to begin to remedy the situation. I Intend to read more. One the one hand it will be unavoidable, because I am reading the majority of Hailey's school books in order to keep the discussions meaningful. It is shocking how few of them I have read. So, we will broaden our horizons together this year. But I also want to get to some of the things that I have been wanting to read. For me. I have many on my shelves, and I check books out from the library regularly. Only to return them 6 weeks later with the covers barely cracked. But I AM going to do that less often this year. Really. I am. Stop laughing.

These are the books I read last year. They are shockingly few, and the majority were read-alouds to the kids. Do those count? I sure hope so, because otherwise I was almost a non-reader last year.

Nick of Time - RA
Cowboy and Wills - Me

Hatchet - RA
Guts - Audio for all
Rats of Nimh - RA
Maggie - Me
Wrapped in Rain - Me
The Dead Don't Dance - Me
Time Pirate - RA
Swiss Family Robinson - RA
When the Tripods Came - RA
The White Mountains - RA
The City of Gold and Lead - RA
Pool of Fire - RA
Atlas Shrugged - Me

What is that, 15? Not much weight there either. Maggie, Wrapped in Rain, and The Dead Don't Dance are all novels by Charles Martin. Entertaining, but not too deep :-) The kids loved Nick of Time, a time-travel tale full of sea battles, chivalry, and love of country. Its sequel, Time Pirate was enjoyed as well.

When the Tripods Came through Pool of Fire was an interesting series. Sci-Fi I guess it was. About a group of people fighting to remain free men after an alien invasion that takes over the minds of people, causing them to become complacent and servile. Lots of good conversation about what it means to be free, and what is worth dying for. We enjoyed it.

Right now we are reading Over Sea, Under Stone by Susan Cooper, which is the first of the 5 book The Dark is Rising series. It was slow to start, but yesterday they begged me to keep reading for 3 1/2 hours straight. It seems it got exciting :-) I'm still undecided about whether we will read the whole series, but this book has been great if you like King Arthur legends and are comfortable with myths and and such. It is about the battle between good and evil featuring children as the main characters. It isn't a book I would hand them to read alone, but it has fostered a lot of great discussions. I'm interested to see how they develop it though.

I'm also reading The Woman in White to the girls, which is one of the first mystery novels ever written.

I am also reading Birth of Britian and How To Read a Book (very slowly) with Hailey. And we are reading (each of us separately) and discussing:

Bede's Ecclesiastical History of the English People
The Life of King Alfred - selected passages
The Brendan VoyageThe Once and Future King
Ivanhoe
The History of English Literature
The Lay of the Land
Watership Down
More Than a Carpenter

Well this post got a lot more full of things no one cares about, but see I AM reading more this year!

Kitten Fun!

Because we are bad cat owners who thought that crossing our fingers would prevent loose morals in Miss Jane, we are now the proud?? owners of 5 little kittens. The children were thrilled to learn that kittens ought to stay with mum for 12 weeks, to prevent neurosis. You know, to prevent them from turning into the type of grown cat that is forever kneading your belly, sucking on your shirt, and generally showing signs of missing it's mommy. So, they figure they have 3 full months in which to convince their father that all of the cats should remain.

He's not having any of it.

But for now at least, we have kittens! They were nearly birthed in Reeces' alfalfa, but Mike discovered her just in time to get her into a box in the garage. Actually, a series of boxes as we kept deciding the current one was too small and interrupting her labor to move her to new digs. They are about 3 weeks now and have just begun venturing out of the garage where Janey will let us play with them without too much stress.

And so, we introduce....

Mrs. Bennet

WickhamBingley
Darcy, looking ferocious







The other one is Mr. Collins, poor thing. But I couldn't get a good picture of him.

Typical

I just love little baby feet. Love em. So, a few weeks back (or was it a month??) I got little Annaleise to sleep and lay her in her little bed. I made sure I had a little white blanket under her, because nothing says newborn baby sweetness like white. I laid her on her tummy, which she doesn't like, but I think it makes for a cuter baby feet picture. I carefully drew her tiny feet together so that they looked just like the image of sweet baby feet I had in my head and I began snapping pictures.

I was using my new lens, which I actually purchased while thinking of baby feet. I had fantasies of crisp pictures of sweet feet with beautiful bokeh (that's blurred background to all you novices ;) ). The nap was cut really short cuz I kept messing with her feet, but it didn't matter. I got some great shots.

But things are pretty busy around here and it took a while to finally load the images on to my computer, so that I could see them in all their glory. And when I did, they were as sweet as I thought. (Did I mention I think baby feet are sweet? I think I need a thesaurus) And then, wait....what's that? There's something yellow on her heel... A big smudge of poo on the bottom of her right foot!??! Noooo! I should have saved them so that you could witness my defeat (no pun intended) but alas, I deleted the evidence :)

So that's how things are going around here, how about you?