So the baby ticker tells me that we will be meeting our sweet babe in something like 4 weeks. As always, that is a bit amazing to me. Physically, ugh, being not pregnant sounds very appealing. It's been a good pregnancy; no bed rest early on, no significant pain until pretty late in the pregnancy this time, pretty good energy (thank you Hemaplex!). The fall a few weeks back is when my hips and pubic symphysis pretty much decided to throw in the towel, but I made it a lot farther than last time. And for that I am exceedingly grateful. So, knowing that the birth of our baby will bring these physical discomforts to a close is encouraging. However...
One would think that after so many deliveries labor would hold no fear. I KNOW that my body can birth babies. I've had no significant problems. And I know that the only way through it is, well... through it. But I haven't been quite able to get my head in the right place. I have been spending a lot of time in prayer, but I just don't have peace yet. The thought of labor still makes me want to cry. Or throw up. As I think back over my last few pregnancies I know that this is standard drama for me as I near the end. I know that some measure of peace will come and that I will be okay. But now, tonight, the valley is dark.
Last night I dreamed that it was time to push. That is the moment I hate the most. I have never experienced the relief that I have heard others talk about when they "finally get to do something." I HAVE been doing something. I've been getting on the other side of every contraction leading to this moment, and now I am lost. It is too overwhelming, too primal, too...much. So that was my dream. That is was time to push, I awoke to that sensation. Scared.
I prayed until I fell back asleep. Because I know HE is there. He is with me, it is His strength that will take me across the valley when I come to the end of my own. I don't feel it now, but I know it. And I know I will feel it when I need it. And from the knowing will come the peace.
This is where I will share lots of pictures of the kids for family and friends far away, as well as tidbits of our life. I'm also likely to share what I learn and what I think about a wide variety of topics, always coming from 2 steps to the right!
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
4.05.2011
9.01.2009
The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Rules the World
Michelle Duggar is pregnant again. This will make an amazing 19 children! They are certainly not your average family, and I am sure that when she and Jim Bob married they had no idea what God had in store for them. I'm certain that if you had asked either of them if they thought they could "handle" 19 children they would have thought you were mad. But God doesn't give you the grace to walk through something until you are walking through it. It's a day by day, moment by moment kind of thing. I surely never thought I would have 9.
What I thought was really interesting is the article I linked to. I've talked to so many people anxious to "do something for God." They want to delay marriage and child-bearing in order to do "Gods work". Or they limit their children in order to be better able to minister. I've talked to women with several children who wonder what their calling is... But Alex Leo gets it. He seems to be writing from a secular perspective, but he sees the power in what the Duggars are doing. Can we really say Michelle hasn't done anything but have babies??
It's so easy to forget. It's so easy to think that because we are at home, wiping noses, rocking babies, making meals, and doing laundry, that we aren't involved in ministry. That we aren't doing anything to advance the kingdom of God.
But in wiping noses, rocking babies, making meals, and doing laundry, we are worshiping our God. As we lay down our lives we take up the cross. And what we're really doing with those children entrusted to us is discipling them. As we live our lives in faith, we teach them to do the same. They are arrows to be sent out as weapons for Christ! If all we do is welcome all of the children the Lord has for us, whether it be one or twenty-one, raise them in faith, and send them out, and if all they do is the same, in just a couple of generations we will once more live in a christian nation! Raising children in the fear of the Lord is powerful. It is humbling and awe-inspiring. It is hard, and nothing will have you on your knees more often.
It's encouraging I think, that the Duggar's oldest son was eager to have children upon marrying. Being the oldest in a home with so many children would mean a lot of responsiblity would fall on him. He has spent his life helping to care for children, and yet he is eager to care for his own. This is a family that has passed on their vision. And their faith. That is my prayer.
What I thought was really interesting is the article I linked to. I've talked to so many people anxious to "do something for God." They want to delay marriage and child-bearing in order to do "Gods work". Or they limit their children in order to be better able to minister. I've talked to women with several children who wonder what their calling is... But Alex Leo gets it. He seems to be writing from a secular perspective, but he sees the power in what the Duggars are doing. Can we really say Michelle hasn't done anything but have babies??
It's so easy to forget. It's so easy to think that because we are at home, wiping noses, rocking babies, making meals, and doing laundry, that we aren't involved in ministry. That we aren't doing anything to advance the kingdom of God.
But in wiping noses, rocking babies, making meals, and doing laundry, we are worshiping our God. As we lay down our lives we take up the cross. And what we're really doing with those children entrusted to us is discipling them. As we live our lives in faith, we teach them to do the same. They are arrows to be sent out as weapons for Christ! If all we do is welcome all of the children the Lord has for us, whether it be one or twenty-one, raise them in faith, and send them out, and if all they do is the same, in just a couple of generations we will once more live in a christian nation! Raising children in the fear of the Lord is powerful. It is humbling and awe-inspiring. It is hard, and nothing will have you on your knees more often.
It's encouraging I think, that the Duggar's oldest son was eager to have children upon marrying. Being the oldest in a home with so many children would mean a lot of responsiblity would fall on him. He has spent his life helping to care for children, and yet he is eager to care for his own. This is a family that has passed on their vision. And their faith. That is my prayer.
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