Yes, I know I'm writing strictly to myself at this point. People can only be expected to stick around for so long with nothing to read. I just haven't felt very inspired. Perhaps I have too high a view of myself, feeling like I need to have something interesting to say. Most of what I say is probably only interesting to me anyway... And lately I barely seem to have time to put together one coherent sentence, much less a whole blog post. The thought of adding another tiny baby into the mix a frankly a bit overwhelming. Of course, I felt that way when I was pregnant with Annaleise too. Sure that I was going to sink under the weight of all that would be on my plate. And, I was right. But God knows. And when I can keep my priorities straight and my knees bent, I can feel Him standing in the gap.
Having a large family has definitely been an act of faith. There is a big difference between the mindset of, "We are ready for another one. Let's try now." and "God has chosen to bless us with another child. I will trust him to provide for the finances, the patience, the needs of the other children..." It has been a humbling journey.
I am half-way through my pregnancy now. And I am so looking forward to meeting this little person. I am so grateful that God given me this privilege, this gift that I would not have chosen on my own. The pregnancy has been amazingly easy thus far. A true gift from the Lord that reminds me of his mercy toward me, reminds me not to be afraid. He is good, all the time.
We tried another new church yesterday, one I've resisted for a long time. I don't know that we will end up there, but the sermon was a blessing. Have a conviction, know where you stand and be fully convinced that you stand with God. But diversity in the gray areas. Know that your convictions on the things the Bible does not explicitly speak to will not necessarily be the convictions of others. God calls us all to different paths. Walk your path, don't worry about theirs. But know what the Bible says, because we must agree on the black and whites. A good reminder.
So, I'm walking my path. Trying to keep my eyes on Him, that I may one day cast glorious crowns at His feet.